New Traditions Break Old

My brother and his wife hosted Thanksgiving this year and I was amazing. Usually, it’s just my parents, brother and myself eating turkey sandwiches and talking about whatever and we watch movies - this time it felt like an actual family event. Different from the family get-togethers our huge family would have back in the day. It was nice to feel like family, even if it was just the 5 of us. It was intimate and refreshing.

My parents made the turkey from my Tia Gloria’s recipe that’s still the best GD turkey I’ve ever eaten. We got a turkey for our household and one for Daniel and Katelyn. They made these amazing side dishes that were honestly the most delicious foods I’ve ever had on Thanksgiving apart from the turkey sandwiches we typically devour. There were gluten-free rolls (which honestly tasted like Hawaiian bread- so I was not mad about this at all!), mac & cheese with everything bagel (it bummed me out I couldn’t eat this dish because I’m lactose intolerant, but it smelled heavenly), dairy-free mashed potatoes - mouthgasm!!, roasted veggies - ANOTHER MOUTHGASM, and the turkey. I think there was a salad present, but it had feta cheese in it and I guess I’m still not an actual functional adult yet because I dislike feta. I heard the salad was great, but I was honestly so focused on my plate that I just thought, “yeah, okay. Cool. But FOOD!” It was my finest hour, I’m not gonna lie.

Katelyn and my brother really went all out to make it feel like a family that day, not that we don’t already feel like one - but it was nice to just feel present in and in the moment. I could get behind this tradition of going somewhere else for Thanksgiving. I loved it and it made me happy. I was amazed, however, at how hungry we all were and how it didn’t long for all of us to burst into food coma’s. We played Uno, which is singlehandedly the best card game ever created! Katelyn is super competitive, which I admire, but it’s Uno… It was funny to me. She and I both won one round each. It was more entertaining to see my brother lose, especially since I grew up with him always beating me at everything. Those family moments are what make days like Thanksgiving memorable. I’m all about those tiny details. My heart is happy.

A few days before Thanksgiving, I was thinking about how I haven’t taken the time to draw anything new. I’ve had plenty of ideas, but none of them spoke to me. I was getting anxious because I loved drawing and the emotional freedom that gave me. I poured my heart out with my watercolors and I lost myself in my artwork. I haven’t had this liberating feeling in a while. I’ve done artwork this year, but not like last year. Last year I was an emotional wreck and I began to reflect on that and how I’ve done less this year. I’m still a mess, but since I’ve been going to therapy, I’ve been drawing less because I’m channeling my feelings out to my therapist. The desire to create hasn’t left me, but the urge to make myself feel better with my pencil and colors isn’t a need. Does that make sense? If I’m being honest, I love the pieces I’ve been creating recently because they’re more detailed and I take my time with them. I’m more daring than I was before.

One of the things that inspire me in choosing what my next drawing will be are tattoos I see on Pinterest. I still enjoy going on Pinterest (maybe not every day but it’s a fun hobby), but going on there helps with seeing new tattoo ideas and inspiration artwork. I love spooky themes. I’m forever going to be obsessed with Halloween related drawings and tattoos. I love drawing skulls and I wanted a new challenge of drawing a skull in a knife with the obvious flowers I enjoy doing. The color choice for it will be difficult but I’m thinking of dark and vibrant colors.

That’s why it was nice going out and taking some pictures not. It’s not the usual amount of pictures I take when I go out, but it’s a nice start - especially since it’s been so long since I have gone out and take some nighttime photographs. I wanted to see the nighttime space again. People watch and see what colors people are wearing and the lights on buildings and from the windows of a restaurant or cafe. It inspires me. Maybe that’s why photography has always been so important to me as well… it provides me with color I’m unable to see otherwise.